questions

Is it time to have another baby?
So I have been on the pro baby band wagon for the last 2 years. Since shortly before Samantha's second birthday. She will be 4 years old this march.
Now my darling husband often humored my pro baby status, but wasn't willing to give it the go ahead. His standard answer was, "let's talk again in 6 months."
He is now on the pro baby #3 bandwagon. And since I always said 2 or 4 kids, he's also on board of the baby #4 bandwagon.
I have suddenly jumped off the pro baby bandwagon. I didn't jump into the "No baby" bandwagon. I'm just on the ground walking and watching the wagons drive off into the distance.

The girls are mostly self sufficient. Yes, they still need me, but less and less. Mostly my help is for safety reasons, not because they can't or don't want to do it on their own. I have time for "Me time" because of this new independence. Me time is awesome. I missed it.
Being pregnant was a very unpleasant experience. Wonderful yes, but down right miserable for 9 months. Do I really want to do that again?
Infants need to be fed every 2 hours and changed every 2 hours, 24 hours a day. Sleep is a wonderful thing. I missed sleep too. For the first time in 6 years I sleep through the night, unless someone is sick. Do I really want to wait another six years for sleep?

Now that hubby is giving the go ahead, I'm not sure I have the courage to jump in the water.

Yes, I want another baby. No, I don't feel done having children. I long to feel full with life, even when that life is bruising my ribs. My arms ache to hold another baby. My heart longs to love this new person.

But I truly feel the weight of that commitment this time. And to be honest..... it scares the crap out of me.